I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
