Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize