So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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