You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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