when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
