you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
