Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
