I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
