Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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