I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
