No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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