It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
