He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
