I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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