I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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