I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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