Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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