Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
