her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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