He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
