So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
