Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."