i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.