I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
