you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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