the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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