I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
