you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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