I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
is it fun? or sober?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
