Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
