i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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