Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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