Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
