There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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