I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
