the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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