covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
