arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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