I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
