i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
