No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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