Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
