I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just pee around me
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
