Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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