Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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