New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize