So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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