Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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