weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
