Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
