R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize