Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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