My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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