you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
