Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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