i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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