every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
