Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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