Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
