I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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